Link betwen divorce and cheese discovered!

Once again we set out into the great unknown of a new year that is to be 2008 with confusing facts all around us.

Apparently, according to an article in this morning's paper, in 2006 the number of divorces in Great Britain was 18% lower than in 1992, the year that Prince Andrew and Fergie (of the royal, rather than black eyed peas variety) split.

This raises a number of questions. Firstly why do some statisticians take so long to produce their data and is this any reflection on their overall level of expertise?

I don't want to know about 2006's figures I want 2007's. Secondly, how do the UK's figures compare with the rest of the world.

Apparently the UK divorce rate is running at 53%, but, the experts (ha!) state that these are nowhere near as high as in Sweden (64%), Russia (65%) or Belarus (68%).

They go on to state that: -

"...one factor that has never been fully quantified is the temperature, since the highest divorce rates all occur in sub-zero temperatures."

I must say that my earlier concern regarding the aptitude of these experts is increasing. When faced with the serious issue of divorce rates - it is a significant leap across the statistical divide to create a link with temperature as the most significant cause.

Some ill informed individuals (of which I am clearly not one) might offer contradictory views such as "...Rubbish, what do you expect? Have you never seen a Belorussian woman?"

To which I would have to respond "...no, but I have seen Anna Kournakova so what's your point?" (Thank you Charlotte - but you don't actually have to point every time!).

Linking divorce rates with low temperatures is as useful or insightful as linking it with the number of stray cats in the country, or mice, or cheese. Come to think of it each of these items - especially in Belorussian 'cartoon-land - is related. There are (really there are!) large numbers of stray cats in Belarus, presumably due to a plentiful supply of mice, who can surely only survive in the low temperatures with copious supplies of cheese. (What do you mean mice don't really like cheese?)

Therefore, as valid a causal link as low temperatures and high divorce rates is that of cheese and high divorce rates. Whilst a somewhat bizarre theory, we should really try to persuade others that it may be true. Otherwise George Dubblya Bush, may try to use a continuation of global warming policies as a means of increasing the sanctity of marriage in the US.

In a another headline today, it was stated that: -

"Paul McCartney has operation on his heart".

Is it only me, or the vast majority of the population in the UK who immediately thought of the words "...after having been broken by Heather Mills"!