Accidents do happen

I should make it clear that this entry in no way relates to the previous blog concerning the Catholic Church's revised list of sins nor its negative stance on contraception.

It could refer to Alistair Darling - although doesn't - as I believe in producing blogs slightly longer than two words.

"Accidents do happen - Alistair Darling"

does seem somewhat uncharitable, although after yesterday's Budget - TOTALLY DESERVED!!!! I want to drink AND drive, albeit clearly not within close succession, and HE has made it even more expensive to do so.

But, as I said this is not about he who shall be called, "The Badger" (see previous blog - "Should the badger be culled?").

In fact it relates to Alexander Martin-Sklan who lost his £300,000 compensation battle with M & S after claiming he slipped on a grape!

Mr Martin-Sklan, 55, an accountant was also ordered to pay £15,000 of the retailer's legal costs as a High Court judge told him: "Accidents do happen."

He had claimed he developed "deep depression" after slipping and tearing a thigh tendon in the fall. However, I think it far more likely that he developed deep depression because of the ridicule that he must surely have received from all and sundry when they realised that he was suing M&S for tripping over a grape.

Mr Martin-Sklan had asked for £315,815 in damages, (I personally think that by not simply claiming £300,000, he was trying to prove that he was a proper Accountant & had actually worked his losses out!! Wrong!!!) claiming that the psychological and physical effects of his accident had blighted his accountancy business and left him unable to play tennis or football.

This man is neither safe to play any kind of sport due to his total lack of balance and co-ordination, nor should he be an Accountant as his sums just don't add up!

Now I should add, in my usual self deprecating manner, that today I was in fact the victim of as serious an accident as Martin Grapeman, in that whilst attempting to eat my lunch at my desk I stabbed myself with a baguette and made my lip bleed. I should also add that it was a particularly crusty baguette and that I was clearly struggling with the co-ordination required with eating - open mouth, then put food in mouth - is a far better sequence than the one I managed but...it really hurt!!!

QUESTION: - Should the badger be culled?

T here are two main types of badger. The first is the animal pictured on the left, which belongs to the to the family Mustelidae: the same mammal family as the ferrets and weasels...

...whilst the second is the animal pictured on the right, Alistair "Badger" Darling, who belongs to the family Politicianidae: the same mammal family as the ferrets, and weasels!

In fact the similarity between these badgers is even closer as there are three subfamilies of badger: Melinae, Mellivorinae and Taxideinae, and the badger on the right is clearly a member of the latter, as denying taxes (only later to impose them) seems to be a key element of the role.

In fact denying anything and everything appears to be a fundamental part of his role; Denying responsibility for: -

1. the Northern Rock crisis,
2. the missing HMRC data of 25m taxpayers,
3. the stagnating housing market, AND
4. spreading Tuberculosis to cattle
   

OK maybe point 4 above, may be slightly more associated with the badger on the left but the way Alistair's luck has been going lately it is only a matter of time before he gets blamed for this also.

Anyway back to the question - given that one of the above badgers has been proved to cause devastation to whole communities, he (Alistair "Badger" Darling that is) should definitely be culled, whereas there is no concrete evidence that the cute looking animal on the left causes TB, and should therefore be spared.

As a supplementary answer to those who actually know something about the subject, i.e. that there IS scientific evidence to prove that badgers cause TB in cattle, I would simply say (because most of what I say is simple) that as cattle have been proven to be one of the greatest producers of carbon gases (by their belching!), if badgers are allowed to live, they may actually help to save the planet!

So in summary, the answer to the question is YES and NO. I hope that this has proved helpful.