Macca, Dame and a Nut!

It is not for me to criticise anyone simply because their attempts at achieving a long and happy marriage eventually failed and ultimately ended in the divorce courts, especially as Valentine's Day approaches.

But after a very happy marriage of 29 years to Linda, one wonders why Paul McCartney said yes to Heather Mills when she asked him if he wanted to"...hop into bed".

(She also asked him if he wanted to hop to the shops, hop to the cinema etc etc)

After four years of marriage Sir Paul is the one who has been left hopping....hopping mad!

Heather Mills wonders why people label her a money grabber and it is easy to see her point; whilst she was in no way instrumental (please forgive the music related pun but Linda was instrumental as she played the guitar in Wings) in the £825m fortune amassed by Macca in a 40 year career, and whilst she was only married to him for four or so years, she therefore only wants about £60m !

How could anybody call that money grabbing?

Yesterday, Macca said "I feel fine" but added that he was hoping the judge would "...please, please me, as despite giving Heather all my loving", he realised (in a veiled reference to her less than puritanical past?) that "...money can't buy me love".

As the assembled press in front of the divorce court surged forward, Macca urged them to get back, as one news paper back-writer asked him whether after it was all over would he be able to let it be, and just disappear. Macca replied that he was "...going nowhere man" as he had initially tried to be reasonable and had told her that he thought "...that they could come together...and that we could work it out", but that after a hard day's night, he had called his lawyers to help, and had invited "Peggy" (as he had less than affectionately begun to refer to Heather) to politely "take a ticket to ride".

Macca's lawyer, Fiona Shackleton said that sadly, whilst a couple setting out in marriage think that all you need is love, something else is needed."...Marriage," she continued "...is something of a magical mystery tour, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes in between.

When that same couple turn to each other in church, saying "I want to hold your hand" each declaring "Love me do", they understandably think that it will last forever. As a divorce lawyer let me give you (the press) some advice. From me to you- it doesn't!

Each may twist and shout and he may think that she loves you (yeah, yeah, yeah) but it comes down to money in the end.

There have been some of you - albeit not that many - who have been saying "...Ain't she sweet", well all we can see is that even the Lady Madonna, isn't worth £60m for 4 year's marriage!"

Some good job interview advice!

There was time when I would go to extremely long lengths (or as I'm not too good a swimmer, to extremely long widths) to keep secret anything embarrassing that I might have done or been involved in - whilst obviously being as open and sharing as one could be about the exploits of others.

Not any more - I have seen the light - and am also typing one handed with one arm being twisted behind my back, by her indoors, who has, by a combination of persuasion and violence, persuaded me once again to "redress the balance".

This "tale" occurred around the end of the 1990's when I applied for a job in an HR department in a large company in London. I was lucky enough to get an interview, and whilst I had been to the building before, and also knew the interviewer, decided to get there a little early to "prepare myself".

The job itself was in "employee relations" which would mean getting involved in disciplinary & employment tribunal issues, and also investigations into the wrongdoings and misdemeanours of the company's employees.

Shortly before the allotted time for the interview I decided that I would visit the "Gents" toilet, (or Restroom for my American readers) to make myself "comfortable".

Both the Ladies and Gents toilets were situated next to each other on the first floor landing, and could be visited before (or after) entering the working floor itself via a security pass.

I went into the toilet and entered a cubicle and (I won't go into all the detail here) sat down.

As I was sat on the toilet I heard the footsteps of another person entering the toilet. Nothing particularly unusual about that you may think, and you would be right up to a point as I had noticed that there were about five cubicles...but there was something that started to feel a little bit odd.

The footsteps were somewhat different. Not the firm, heavy footsteps of a man, but the lighter, "pitter, patter" footsteps of a woman in heels. Why had a woman entered the men's toilets? Maybe it was a female cleaner, not realising that one of the cubicles was occupied.

As I sat there waiting for - amongst other things - her to leave, I looked around me.

To my left was a tallish metal "bin", with a torn label on the top, with the only words that I could make out being "...tary towells". Odd. I then started to think about the layout of the toilets. As I have said there were about five cubicles, and.....no urinals!

Arghhhhh I was sat in a cubicle in the ladies toilets waiting to go for an interview for a job in employee relations!!!!!

Instead of being interviewed for a job, I could end up being interviewed as part of a sex discrimination investigation!

Now I could lie and spin out this story, but in reality I simply waited for the woman to leave and after a few minutes made what can only be described as sharp exit! I wasn't seen by anybody else and miraculously "got away with it".

However, to this day, I pause as I enter any public toilets, to check the sign before I go in.

So my advice if you're going for an interview, particularly in HR, would be...don't drink or eat for 3 hours before the interview, don't go to the toilet, before, during or after and if that is not possible - if you need to wear glasses due to poor eyesight, MAKE SURE YOU WEAR THEM!