Sheila's Wheels

I have never known much about cars - and whilst having secret (ooops!) ambitions to own some flash red sporty number, (or even a car like a Aston Martin DB9) I have never been, nor will ever be, in a position to afford one.

My knowledge of cars is also confused by some of the terminology. Take 'brake horse power' as an example. If a car has 285 bhp - does that give me a lot of brakes? a lot of power? or enough horses to greatly enhance my chances of being the winning trainer of a Grand National winner? (and indirectly more likely to afford a DB9).

It appears to be a totally nonsensical combination, which could just as easily be - Stop, Cow, Go or Left, Pig, Right!

Consequently I have tended to own reliable, but somewhat boring modes of transport.

However, people's attitudes to cars differ greatly, and many years ago, some of our neighbours in Wiltshire used to seem to derive more satisfaction from mending, or "dabbling " with them, than actually driving them.

Not mentioning any names but, due to the above, some cars - often owned or driven by the wives of the above mentioned male "dabblers" - barely ever made it off their drives, with the respective Sheila (used in the Australian sense of one woman's name - Sheila - being an expression used to refer to all women, rather than anybody actually called Sheila!) actually having to use public transport, rather than be able to use her own "Sheila's Wheels".

Hopefully, the insurance company of the same name, hasn't based it's statistics on such individuals because a claim that: -

"Women make the safest drivers,
We could save a bunch of fivers"

could be found to be somewhat misleading given that its hard not to be safe when your car doesn't ever get on the road!