QUESTION: - How long is the "season of goodwill"?

Apparently, scientists (don't you just love 'em) have "scientifically proved" that the Christmas bonhomie is unlikely to last much beyond Boxing Day.

Helpfully, they have even created a formula to show when the season of goodwill will break down.

The formula: - ((D x A) + I + J + T)/S

Where: -
D = drift factor, where lack of planning leads to flared tempers;
A = the strain of putting on a diplomatic act;
I = inappropriate or unwanted gifts;
J = the journey undertaken to relatives;
T = the passing of time with another year gone by, and
S = shared tasks such as washing up with the knowledge that guests are not helping much.

What would we do if we weren't able to benefit from the knowledge and insight of such educated luminaries?

How grateful we should be that, when faced with the potential problems that they could be solving - like global warming, or finding a cure for cancer - they have put aside the possibility of international acclaim, by helping you and me identify that by December27th we'll all have had too much of each other and will be filing for divorce in big numbers on January 7th!

Now, whilst I am not a scientist (and in fact the nearest I ever came to a scientific episode was at the age of about 11 when two brother who lived next door to us involved me in an experiment which nearly resulted in their garage being blown up!) I have developed my own "scientific formula".

This is: (J x Y x P x F)/A = V

Where: -

J = number of proper jobs they've managed to hold down for more than 6 months
Y = years NOT spent living with mother
P = the number of parties they have been invited to in their entire life
F = the number of people that would refer to them as a "friend"
A = the number of articles they've had published in scientific journals
V = the value of what they say/write

Given that it is quite difficult for most of these experts to score above zero, any score above 5, possibly puts them in the running for a Nobel prize.

However, if that is their true goal they could always: -

1. buy a video camera,
2. fail in their attempt to become President of the United States (which is quite easy to do), and
3. run around saying "...the world is getting hotter!!!".