Out of office

Tomorrow we are off on holiday, where I intend to "Blog like an Egyptian" and I am currently considering what out of office message to leave on my work email system.

Usually I would leave the standard "I will be away on annual leave until the....in my absence please contact..." etc. However, the following alternatives are surely worth a try!

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 25 February. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system… You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 13 weeks.
7. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons… When I return, Please refer to me as ‘ Margaret ‘ instead of ‘Steve’.