UK schools in child labour outrage

Whilst we have often heard of the practice of "child labour" in Third World countries, thankfully it is far less common in either the EU or UK.

However, I heard today that a school in West Sussex was employing children as young as 12 as classroom teaching assistants!

Such practices are seemingly not even being kept particularly secret, as an inside source revealed to me: -

"...She was very open about her birthday and the fact that she was only 12 today. She even brought a cake and balloons into the school for both the teaching staff and children to share."

It is important that this matter is investigated further by the local education authority, because however mature and hard-working this person is, it cannot be morally right that she is being exploited in this way.

Whilst there is a shortage of classroom assistants, is there no other way to solve the situation?

THIS IS TRUE STORY!!

(What I don't understand is the fact that the "child" in question is apparently married with children of her own! How does that work?

Bush Calls Surveillance Bill an ‘Urgent Priority’

The New York Times today reported that: -

"...Using some of his toughest language in weeks, President Bush prodded Congress on Thursday to pass his preferred version of surveillance legislation, asserting that every day of delay could put the country in danger..."

Now, call me a cynical non Republican (& therefore slightly democratic) Brit, but I was sort of assuming that "every day of delay" between now and the Presidential elections was putting the country (sorry your country - the USofA) in danger. Can't you folks just break tradition (it's not as though you haven't broken things before, nor for that matter, is your tradition very long standing) for once and bring the elections forward?

Dublya also said that: -

• "...Without the cooperation of private companies, we cannot protect our country from terrorist attack,” and
• "...Big new taxes on the major oil companies would backfire, driving up energy costs"

Now, clearly I am not an expert on these matters but, am I not right in thinking that: -

1. despite the atrocities and war crimes carried out by Iraq in the Iran:Iraq war between 1983 to 1985, the Reagan administration went to great lengths to gain Saddam Hussein’s favor.
2. Their goal at the time was to have built a gas pipeline from the Euphrates River, in Iraq, to the Gulf of Aqaba, in Jordan. The company planning to gain this contract for the billion dollar pipeline’s construction: Bechtel Corporation.
3. Over two decades later, and after a small falling out with Saddam, it is the same companies Bechtel and Halliburton, which benefited from the post-war reconstruction contracts in Iraq worth upwards of $900 million.

and that the common denominator in each of the above three issues is Dick Cheney, the former CEO of Halliburton and current VP. So when Dubblya talks of needing to keep private companies & specifical private major oil companies on side, it is simply so that his friends and colleagues, Dick & Donald can benefit financially!!

(Please note new legal disclaimer where I have disassociated myself from all the comments that I have written about anybody)

So when Dubblya also said that it was “dangerous, just dangerous” for the legislation to be delayed, and pledged to continue speaking out about the issue until the American people understand, I think it is about the most hypocritical thing that I've ever heard.

For Dubblya to continue speaking about anything is likely to reduce, not increase the understanding of the American people. For example, as he has previously said: -

1. "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."- August 30, 2000
2. "And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail."- October 4, 2001
3. "Teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."- Feb. 21, 2001
4. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"- January 11, 2000
5. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."- January 3, 2000

Not wanting to rub George 's nose in it, nor am I saying that it is necessarily a good thing (actually I think I am saying it is a good thing - unless you ever do something wrong) but, the Big Brother nightmare of George Orwell's 1984 has become a reality - in the shadow of the author's former London home.

It may have taken a little longer than he predicted, but Orwell's vision of a society where cameras and computers spy on every person's movements is now here.

According to the latest studies, Britain has a staggering 4.2million CCTV cameras - one for every 14 people in the country - and 20 per cent of cameras globally. It has been calculated that each person is caught on camera an average of 300 times daily.

Use of spy cameras in modern-day Britain is now a chilling mirror image of Orwell's fictional world, created in the post-war Forties in a fourth-floor flat overlooking Canonbury Square in Islington, North London.

On the wall outside his former residence - flat number 27B - where Orwell lived until his death in 1950, an historical plaque commemorates the anti-authoritarian author. And within 200 yards of the flat, there are 32 CCTV cameras, scanning every move.

London is rocked by the biggest quake for 24 years

Oh my god!

Could this signal the end of the world. Had London been razed to the ground? (I've always thought that this "sounds" and odd expression!). Would I witness a wasteland of devastation upon arrival in London this morning?
Would the trains even be able to get there?

PLEASE NOTE - YOU HAVE NOW BEEN READING FOR FIFTEEN SECONDS!
It must have been bad as "...Thousands call(ed) 999 as tremors felt...".

In addition Kiran Sekhon, (who incidentally must be a right wuss) said that he: - "...woke up absolutely terrified".

But, no scene of devastation was found. Mainly because the tremor which at its epicentre only measured 5.2 on the Richter scale, only "...LASTED FOR UP TO 15 SECONDS"!!!

So I must apologise to my dear American Blogees who may read this entry.Some of us do know that when compared with quakes along the San Andreas fault, this UK offering was akin to being tickled with a small feather, but heh we don't get out much, and you also have to remember that when London's Millennium bridge across the Thames was opened in 2000, it had to be closed after one day, so that they could spend £5m repairing it - because it wobbled a bit, as shown in the following link: -!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQK21572oSU&feature=related

By comparison, a real wobbly bridge can be seen in the following link: -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcoHJHo8d6k&feature=related

China in Olympics pollution drive

The above "headline" appeared on today's BBC News Website above an article which detailed how air quality is a major concern for organisers of the Olympics.

Whilst I'm sure this should be so, either the headline writers have once again chosen to mislead its readers, or the initiative is somewhat misguided.

Driving is the last thing that they should be doing to reduce pollution. "China in Olympics pollution walk" would be a far better strategy.

It reminded me of how my present company used to refer to the 'time period' that senior managers had to keep their company cars for, before getting a new one as - "the replacement cycle". I said that if I was only going to get a replacement cycle, I would keep the old car!!!!

Sometimes an explanation is completely unnecessary!

Not wanting to cause offence or cast aspersions against those that may be "cerebrally" or "communicatively" challenged, I will let each of you decide the exact content of the conversation between the individual who ordered the cake in the picture below, and the supermarket employee who took the telephone order.

But this is the end result!!!

Another useful invention - Dragon's Den here I come!

I have mentioned previously (The advantages of flying - 10 November 2006) that whilst flying is clearly a faster mode of travel than some you could mention, published “flight times” can be somewhat misleading.

The scheduled flight time from Sharm el Sheikh to London Gatwick is only 5 hours 25 mins, and yet our total “door-to-door” journey time was almost double at 10 hours!

This non-productive time was made up of the following elements: -

Hotel to Airport - 25 mins
Check in & passport control - 25 mins
Waiting time in Airport - 1 hour 15 mins
Boarding plane - 15 mins
Wait on runway at Sharm el Sheikh - 10 mins
Flight time - 5 hours 20 mins
Unboarding plane - 10 mins
Waiting in baggage reclaim at Gatwick - 1 hour 25 mins!
Collecting car from long stay car park - 15 mins
Car journey home - 25 mins

There appear to be two well defined elements associated to “waiting time” that can make it “feel” as though that time is passing even more slowly than it actually is.

The first is when nothing appears to be happening, and the second is when the waiting occurs in the middle of the night.

Having arrived back at Gatwick bang (more of a bump than a bang actually) on time at 1 o’clock in the morning, the (almost) one and a half wait for our luggage seemed almost twice as long.

After an hour’s wait, a BAA employee decided to undertake an act, which in another situation might have been classed as an act of bravery. In front of 160 tired, and somewhat annoyed passengers he (and this is where the de-FIB-rillator was required) lied!

“…Ladies and gentlemen. For those of you waiting for the baggage from flight XL6091 from Sharm el Sheikh, I must apologise for the delay in this arriving in the baggage reclaim hall. This delay is due to the late arrival of the flight….”

To a man, woman & child (Even the Whistler who had the cheek to travel back on our flight, but the sense to sit 20 rows away, and out of earshot!), the assembled throng shouted “…it wasn’t late!!!” but the fib had been made (and was even repeated about 20 minutes later).

Had we been able to use the de-fib-rillator (which is another instrument that I have invented which is a cross between a medical defibrillator and a polygraph test), which if it can be applied quickly enough can result in the truth being told rather than the pack of lies that in some cases appear to spew from the mouths of certain individuals.

In this case, had the de-fib-rillator been applied in time the above announcement may have been as follows: -

“…Oi, you lot. Due to the fact that there aren’t enough baggage handlers employed at night, ‘cause it costs more due to having to pay them overtime, they can’t deal with more than one plane at a time. In fact the slightly early arrival of your plane co-incided with one of their 8 tea breaks, and we’ll be lucky to get your luggage onto the conveyor belts this side of Easter. Any further complaints regarding these delays will be conveyed to the baggage handlers directly, who will, if possible, then attempt to place your luggage on the next available long-haul flight out of Gatwick, so if I was you, I’d stand still and shut up! At least you’ve had a holiday. Thank you for your patience! "

With apologies to Egypt!

There are many reasons why people travel.

To experience different cultures by visiting far off lands and the treasures they contain, be they archaeological, artistic or natural.

To taste new foods; see different ways of living; to see local people in their local environment.

This is what holidays and travelling are about. They help to expand the mind.

I have long criticised George Dubblya, and his "fellow merkins" (albeit only those that don't have a passport and aren't related to me) who take a very insular look on the world, which for many is an "unknown" world if it is not within the US boundaries.

All that being said, we have just spent a week in the Hyatt Regency Resort in (allegedly) Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt. I say allegedly, because it could have been anywhere in the world. Well anywhere in the world that is warm in February and has fantastic snorkeling!

We didn't venture out of the resort to do or see anything local, and the only locals we spoke to were Hyatt employees, each of whom would say "my pleasure" when asked to do anything.

So whilst a fantastic holiday, please don't ask me anything about the area or the people or anything other than the hotel!

Groundhog day?

Having seen Ray yesterday, we made an early decision not to see Gym today, and as a consequence I decided that I would only have two pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast, instead of the usual three(Admittedly in addition to fruit & yoghurt, orange juice, a Spanish omelette, and fresh bread!), as I don't want to put on too much weight.

I had thought that all the exercise that I'd been getting snorkeling would be sufficient to counteract any minimal increase in the amount of food I was eating, but a 'certain person' soon put me right on that count.

First she implied that floating on the surface of the sea, in what must be one of the most buoyant areas of the world, was unlikely to burn off more than a handful of calories, and then she took issue with my reference to "...minimal increase"!

Anyway after another day of such "exercise" we decided that we would dine slightly "up market" in the 'Cascades' open air Restaurant. I had thought that eating in Egypt would be reasonably "cheap" in comparison with the UK, but our meal was almost £90 for the two of us, and I even had to cook my own steak on a hot stone slab!

However, it was a lovely meal, and a lovely setting, so it was worth it. So good in fact that we booked a table for tomorrow night as well!

When one pays this much for a meal in a country where we are told that the average monthly wage is only £30, it puts things into perspective somewhat.

For the 'average' Egyptian - according to the Egyptian Gazette, which I have been receiving daily - even basic Egyptian foodstuffs are becoming too expensive. A traditional lunch-time meal, which sounded a bit like a freshly made 'Pot Noodle' was becoming too expensive to buy - because it had increased in price to 4 Egyptian pounds - or 40 UK pence!

Maybe I'll only have one pancake tomorrow!

Adventures under an azure sky

Apparently there are no weathermen in Sharm el Sheikh, because the weather varies so little.

Today, the sky was once again the colour of azure. How do I know? The following photographic evidence and a Dulux colour chart prove my point.



For those interested in buying the colour it is Azure Sky 2 from the 'Fresh Blues' Dulux range, available at all good stockists.

Today, was broadly similar to the previous days, with snorkeling being the main focus.

Whilst, I had snorkeled yesterday, there were times - especially when looking down at the seabed some sixty feet below me - when I didn't feel as confident as I would have liked.

But did I panic? Of course I did... if only a little.

However, today I was determined to stay out longer and remain calm, despite the somewhat choppy seas.

Perhaps a little morbidly I had already considered that one of life's great ironies is that somebody who gets into difficulties at sea, fears sinking to the bottom (i.e. drowning) and yet, if they do drown, their body floats to the top!

Today, I was calmness personified, and swam for about an hour taking in the wonders of the undersea world of the Red Sea.

Two major finds were had. Firstly. I got to meet Ray! He had tried to cover himself in sand and remained fairly motionless, but his blue spots shone through.

Secondly, we saw (admittedly because another snorkeler pointed it out to us) a lionfish!

Now I am sure that Confucius would have had a saying along the lines of "...it is a wise man who knows what he doesn't know and who doesn't try to touch a lionfish unless he truly knows that it is safe to do so!"

But I didn't read up on Confucius this morning and in fact, tried to touch every fish I saw. Fortunately I was unsuccessful on every attempt. Especially fortunate in relation to the lionfish as the Internet (which doesn't work very well underwater!) states: -

"...Lion-fish have venomous fin spines that can produce painful puncture wounds. Fatalities, however, are rare."

And I was worried about drowning!!!!

Walk like an Egyptian....blog like an Egyptian

Researching Egyptian culture before we left home I referred to one of the most up to date pieces of research that I could find, namely the Bangles hit (?) from 1985 - Walk like an Egyptian.

All the old paintings on the tombs

They do the sand dance don't you know

If they move too quick (oh whey oh)

They're falling down like a domino

All the bazaar men by the Nile

They got the money on a bet

Gold crocodiles (oh whey oh)

They snap their teeth on your cigarette

Foreign types with the hookah pipes say

Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh

Walk like an Egyptian

Having been here for 3 days now, most of the Egyptians that I've seen, actually walk quite normally.

Whilst 'normal' is a relative term, (and I have plenty of relatives who aren't!) in comparison to most of the holidaymakers at this resort hotel - normal is the way that they walk.

The rest of us, walk somewhat gingerly, not being used to this summer sun, in February, and suffering somewhat from sunburn.

However, give George Dublya and his cronies a few more years to speed up global warming and we'll all be walking like Egyptians!

Has anybody seen Ray?

Despite having only been in Sharm el Sheikh for 2 full days, we have already developed a structure for each day.

1. Exercise
2. Eat
3. Beach, Snorkel, Beach, Snorkel etc etc
4. Spa
5. Eat
6. Sleep

First thing in the morning we pay a visit to the gym. This is clearly not driven by any great fondness for physical activity, but more in hope that a week of hotel food (and drink) won't leave us the size of a proverbial brick out-house, or whatever the Egyptian equivalent is!

My time on the treadmill is spent watching the calorie counter to see how many calories I will soon be able to replace at breakfast. Today it was only 216!

216 calories was not enough - especially in view of the fact that there are two breakfast chefs who make omelette's and pancakes to order, the former who has all the style of a cocktail waiter, and throws the fresh omelette from the pan, over his head, to the plate.

I convince myself that neither, nor both of the omellete (singular) or pancakes (plural), can equate to 216 calories.

Others - mentioning no names - are more restrained.

After breakfast we head down to the beach - not for long - just 5 hours or so, sunbathing, snorkeling and drinking the odd glass of beer.

Today, whilst hot. it was a bit breezy, but despite this we both saw another amazing array of fish.

The coral shelf is only about 50 feet from shore before it drops away to a depth of about 60 feet.

Today's special "find" - although not by me - was a blue spotted (sting)ray. I thought that my good friend and associate was shouting "...I've found Ray, I've found Ray", and, not knowing either who Ray was, or what he was doing at the bottom of the Red Sea, I was initially somewhat confused. "...I'll show you where he is," she said, pointing out across the reef. "...Go and see if you can find him."

Now, the reef is quite big and the Red Sea somewhat bigger. The tide was quite strong, and my swimming quite weak. Add to this the fact that Ray, is only 14 inches across, and you can imagine that this task was almost mission impossible (cue music). No, it was mission impossible, as I "f,f,f,failed..."

What made it even more frustrating was that having swum back 100 yards against the tide to hand back the snorkel (we were sharing!) "Marina" only went and found Ray again!

Not that I'm competitive but tomorrow I'm going in search of a Great White Shark!

It's a little bit monotonous!

This holiday is somewhat monotonous - the sky is constantly blue, it never rains, it's always hot (but not too hot), the hotel is excellent, and the snorkeling is absolutely fantastic. (In fact the snorkeling is better than the Barrier Reef, Fiji & Madeira.)

A few photos may demonstrate how awful this place is to encourage others to avoid it in the future - thereby keeping it relatively quiet for when we want to return again.

Back to the snorkeling - whilst invisible from the surface, despite the crystal clear sea, on our first session of snorkeling we immediately found ourselves just above at least 1,000 bright blue, striped, split tailed "Bigeye Jackfish".

It was just like swimming in the middle of an aquarium - but we were in the middle of the Red Sea!

More of this monotony tomorrow!

We're off to sunny.....Egypt

In life, there appear to be three kinds of people; those who look for trouble or problems; those for whom trouble or problems look for them; and those who pass through life not noticing the trouble and strife all around them, whether personally caused by them, or others.

I'm not really sure which "type" I am, although had thought I was more likely to fall into the latter category.

As we set off on holiday, I remembered the disparaging comments that I had made when told that we would be flying with XL Airways. Not that I'd personally experienced them before, but had heard of the exploits of friends and colleagues who had been delayed, in some cases considerably, when flying with them, and on more than one occasion.

However, I also realised that such travel woes, for one of these individuals, was not limited to XL Airways, as she had also been delayed by hurricanes in the Caribbean; missed flights in Florida; and rained on in Broadstairs for 15 years running.

In fact, she is so unlucky in her travels that even her Sat Nav has stopped talking to her, after she constantly ignored "him" on one recent journey!

So the journey started with some trepidation on my part. Before we left home I checked on the Internet to see how long the current delay was for our flight. There wasn't any delay. At the airport we bought some books and a paper to read in the check-in queue. But there wasn't a queue as the desk had opened early. The flight boarded on time, actually took off only 7 mins after the designated flight time, and arrived in Sharm el Sheikh 15 minutes early. The plane was a new 737-800, and whilst the legroom was a little limited, the flight couldn't have been much better.

The only thing that spoilt it was Whistler's Mother. I couldn't actually see (or thankfully for him/her reach) Whistler, and could only imagine that he/she must be aged about 4/5 years old. I am also convinced that Whistler had only learned to whistle this morning.

'Lesson One' has obviously only covered the fundamental principles of blowing air through pursed lips, with future lessons planning to develop the art of making it sound tuneful!!

It also appears that Whistler's "teacher's" last words to him/her had been "...now make sure you practice lots on your holiday!". Because, sure as eggs are eggs (I'm not actually sure what else eggs could actually be but...) young Whistler, whistled away for the best part of 4hours!

As for Whistler's mother - she did absolutely nothing, and sat motionless, as though "sitting" for a portrait, throughout the flight.

Had I brought (or for that matter bought) a pair of headphones I could have listened to something to drown out this tuneless drivel, but I had not, and did not (FIVE POUNDS! Why would I want to spend five pounds on a tacky pair of headphones? Now I know why).

As long as I don't see him or hear him again on holiday he may survive his week off school.

One word of warning to anybody facing such a predicament in future. If you don't have any earphones, do NOT put 'tic tacs' in your ears to block out the noise. They may look like earplugs and are about the same size as earplugs, but they are more difficult to remove from your ears (OK impossible to remove from your ears!) than earplugs!

Does anybody know the Egyptian for Accident & Emergency?

Out of office

Tomorrow we are off on holiday, where I intend to "Blog like an Egyptian" and I am currently considering what out of office message to leave on my work email system.

Usually I would leave the standard "I will be away on annual leave until the....in my absence please contact..." etc. However, the following alternatives are surely worth a try!

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 25 February. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system… You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 13 weeks.
7. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons… When I return, Please refer to me as ‘ Margaret ‘ instead of ‘Steve’.

Love is all around us....

How wonderful it is that for one day in the year, the evil spectre of commercialism is hidden behind the tide of warmth and love that is St.Valentine's Day!.

Or, because I like to see life from both sides of the fence - Valentine's Day is second only to Christmas for naked consumerism and is worth around£2.3 billion to the retail sector.

For some men, Christmas is easier than St Cupid's day when it comes to present buying. At least at Christmas it is generally accepted, nay almost traditional, that to buy one's loved one's present at the local garage just before it closes on Christmas Eve, does not imply any more lack of thought than men usually manage to exhibit for the rest of the year!

In fact, I considered that my offering last year of a bag of charcoal, two bags of Haribo, a tree shaped air freshener for her car (shaped like a Xmas tree as well!) and a £2.99 bunch of flowers, to have been almost inspirational.

A special thanks to Texaco for that.

However, not everyone agreed!

But on Valentine's Day, there is the added issue of guilt. Very large bunches of roses would only be met with significant suspicion. One would surely receive the "...what have you done wrong that you need to buy me a large bunch of flowers to make up for?" look.

...or the "Are you trying to make me fat?" retort when you buy her a big box of chocolates.

...or the "Don't you like my ankle length winciette brown nightie then...?" when you buy her that short red satin number.

It is true that I don't actually KNOW that my own nearest and dearest would react in this way - as I've never given her the chance.

I don't like commercialism. Well unless someone wants to buy something for me.

Who says romance is dead?

Macca, Dame and a Nut!

It is not for me to criticise anyone simply because their attempts at achieving a long and happy marriage eventually failed and ultimately ended in the divorce courts, especially as Valentine's Day approaches.

But after a very happy marriage of 29 years to Linda, one wonders why Paul McCartney said yes to Heather Mills when she asked him if he wanted to"...hop into bed".

(She also asked him if he wanted to hop to the shops, hop to the cinema etc etc)

After four years of marriage Sir Paul is the one who has been left hopping....hopping mad!

Heather Mills wonders why people label her a money grabber and it is easy to see her point; whilst she was in no way instrumental (please forgive the music related pun but Linda was instrumental as she played the guitar in Wings) in the £825m fortune amassed by Macca in a 40 year career, and whilst she was only married to him for four or so years, she therefore only wants about £60m !

How could anybody call that money grabbing?

Yesterday, Macca said "I feel fine" but added that he was hoping the judge would "...please, please me, as despite giving Heather all my loving", he realised (in a veiled reference to her less than puritanical past?) that "...money can't buy me love".

As the assembled press in front of the divorce court surged forward, Macca urged them to get back, as one news paper back-writer asked him whether after it was all over would he be able to let it be, and just disappear. Macca replied that he was "...going nowhere man" as he had initially tried to be reasonable and had told her that he thought "...that they could come together...and that we could work it out", but that after a hard day's night, he had called his lawyers to help, and had invited "Peggy" (as he had less than affectionately begun to refer to Heather) to politely "take a ticket to ride".

Macca's lawyer, Fiona Shackleton said that sadly, whilst a couple setting out in marriage think that all you need is love, something else is needed."...Marriage," she continued "...is something of a magical mystery tour, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes in between.

When that same couple turn to each other in church, saying "I want to hold your hand" each declaring "Love me do", they understandably think that it will last forever. As a divorce lawyer let me give you (the press) some advice. From me to you- it doesn't!

Each may twist and shout and he may think that she loves you (yeah, yeah, yeah) but it comes down to money in the end.

There have been some of you - albeit not that many - who have been saying "...Ain't she sweet", well all we can see is that even the Lady Madonna, isn't worth £60m for 4 year's marriage!"

This isn't just science....it's M&S science!

In a previous blog I have made reference to some of the products that this British institution sells, and have been somewhat critical at times.

However, one should not let it go unnoticed that they have great plans to reduce the level of waste that they produce by 2012.

Their to plan is to "change beyond recognition" the way M&S operates. Initiatives within the 100-point plan include transforming the 460-strong chain into a carbon neutral operation; banning group waste from landfill dumps; using unsold out-of-date food as a source of recyclable energy and making polyester clothing from recycled plastic bottles."

In this way they hope to play their part in the fight against climate change.

All of this is extremely laudable, and demonstrates the seriousness with which they are addressing the issue.

Or so I thought...

Yesterday on visiting the store I noticed the sale of a product that is either: -

• an attempt to avoid having to implement the above plan, or
• possibly a less than full understanding of what needs to be done to tackle the issue

I am referring to the fact that M&S now sell -

Blue Harbour °Climate Control Pure Cotton Stripe Polo Shirt
£15.00
Product Code: T285563B°

It is attitudes like this that have helped to enable leaders such as George Bush defend America's "gas-guzzling" economic strategy, with the implication that this most important issue of all time can be resolved by wearing a particular kind of T-shirt!

Even the description of the item may confuse those with a less than average IQ -

"The Outlast technology behind this innovative fabric was originally developed for astronauts and is recognised by NASA as Certified Space Technology"

When did you ever see an astronaut wearing a T-shirt in space?

A "quick" lesson in equal opportunities

Despite the "evidence" in yesterday's entry, of the increased ability of women to "multi-task", it is clear that they are no more able to limit the speed of their car to within the national speed limit than men are.

This, I (personally) established yesterday by attending a 'Speed Awareness' Training course, along with an equal mix of men and women.

Two facts struck me from the outset.

The first was that the participants for this course whilst all having one thing in common - namely that we had been"caught" speeding - were, from an equal opportunities perspective, "ideally balanced".

As well as balanced on gender, we were also, suspiciously, evenly mixed between young and old, ethnic and non ethnic, AND we had two trainers one of whom had a disability!

This "nirvana" for EO officials (I can imagine them ticking all of the boxes of their forms - in triplicate - as I write) also led me to question whether we had in fact been caught or had in fact been "targeted".

The second fact that struck me was that 'Speed Awareness' was not a very good course title. We were all very aware of speed, having recently experienced lots of it. In fact there is also (allegedly) photographic evidence to prove this if the course organisers had been in any doubt.

What we needed to increase our "awareness of" was going slow. A 'Dawdling' or 'Crawling' awareness course was what we needed.

That being said, the course was very good, although the most stressful part was ensuring that we weren't caught speeding either on the way to, or possibly worse, on the way from the course!

I'm not sure whether I bought in to all of the "learning" for as I slowly drove home I did start to think that the government's latest 'Road Safety' campaign -

'Speed Kills, Kill Your Speed",

to be somewhat factually incorrect.

Speed doesn't kill! Hitting people with a car kills. Admittedly more so when you hit them with a very fast car.

So speed isn't a problem, just like fatty food doesn't make you overweight...... unless you eat it that is!

Complexity of women's mind identified...

This image - taken with the most powerful electron microscope know to man (or woman) has finally been able to capture the inner workings of a woman's mind.

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

To see the "brain" in action - double click on the image to see each of the seperate processes working simultaneously!!!

Apparently the same (female?) scientists have said that in contrast a man has only two balls and they take up all of his thoughts!

But how many did Margaret Thatcher have? Or Hilary Clinton?

After Super Tuesday? Worrying Wednesday!

Well, as it turned out Super Tuesday concluded in a slightly less than "Super" way (a bit like it eventually did for Hilary Clinton), when I was asked if I could undertake a 45 minute presentation in the austere surroundings of the Institute of Directors in London, in front of an audience of circa 150 HR and legal professionals.

In itself this request wasn't a problem as I quite enjoy public speaking, as long as I know the subject well and have plenty of time to prepare.

Unfortunately, this request met neither of these criteria. I didn't know the subject matter well at all, and the presentation was the following day, namely today!

However, despite doing my first practice "run through" walking down the Mall after lunch (which prompted starnge glances from foreign tourists), closely followed soon after by the presentation itself, it went pretty well, and I now have more proof that not only can I write drivel but I can talk it as well!

The audience were kind. They laughed in the right places, asked plenty of questions, no-one of which were too difficult, and gave good feedback.

The day also further improved at it finished off with an enjoyable champagne reception at a Conran restaurant in Soho, courtesy of a London law firm who I have dealings with.

One race that went flat as a pancake

One thing that often amazes me as I've travelled around the world is how unsafe other countries are. I've: -

• been on boats in Italy where they have let off distress flares in rough seas, without telling passengers what is happening;


• been close to the edge of steep cliffs in France with no protective barriers or warning signs;


• been almost mown down in Spain by herds (?) of motorcylists without crash helmets etc etc

I'm not sure that they have more accidents than in the UK, but whilst Ithought that they were governed by the same EU regulations, they don't seem to bother quite as much.

In the UK we are oh so compliant.

Today an ancient pancake race has been abandoned because of health and safety laws and red tape.

The 600-year-old Shrove Tuesday do was revived by popular demand in 1998 at Ripon, North Yorks. But the Dean said it had now had become too pricey and difficult with rising police costs and a mountain of risk assessments to let kids take part.

The Very Rev Keith Jukes said: "It's sad." Fellow organiser, Bernard Bateman added: "Health and safety has gone too far. It's a shame these issues stop children enjoying such an event. "It has proved very popular in the past, with schools and businessesentering teams to race while tossing pancakes.

How sacred is sacred?

The following picture which appeared in today's Evening Standard shows Hindu priests throwing offerings of clarified butter onto a scared fire to invole the permission of mother earth to build a cow protection centre near Watford.

The "bhumi puja" ceremony marks the start of work to create a home for cattle who would otherwise be slaughtered as they are sacred to the Hindu religion.


Fair enough I say, if you want to make the cow sacred, as long as I don't have to, then go ahead.

However, if you look closely in the picture it appears as though the priest has set fire to the head of one of the women.

What's the score here? With no beef to put on the bar-b-que, you pan fry the guests?

America - it's time for a little creativity

In a week where we are about to have a "Super" Tuesday, (and possibly a fantastic Wednesday, terrific Thursday etc etc) is it not time for the people of America to become a little more creative.

If the land of the free is really one of the greatest democracies in the world, why is it that there is a strong possibility that by 2017, they will have had 16 years of the Clinton dynasty and 12 years of the Bush dynasty.

Whilst both of these families are poles apart in their political views, is it not time to give another family a chance?

There are rumours (I'm sure completely unfounded) that Bill Clinton has been secretely telling voters not to forget the problems seen in Kenya, Angola and Zimbabwe, "...all of whom have black Presidents" and that they shouldn't therefore make the same mistake and vote for Obama!!"

But this is the time to be bold. People of America, the world looks to you to make the right choice. I know that the journey is only just beginning, but make a statement, start the momentum...vote Obama.

It could be you!!

Every week millions of people buy a lottery ticket, in the hope, if not expectation of winning the jackpot.

The odds of actually winning are 1 in 13,983,816!

This week the UK national crime statistics have also been published.

Within these figures are hidden the level of murders within the UK which equate to 13.7 murders per million people.

Therefore on a like for like basis the chance of being murdered is 192 times the chance of winning the National Lottery.

A new meaning possibly to the term "Your numbers up"!!

Beware of the dentist!

This evening I had planned to do "something amazing" with my wife!

That's right...we both set out to donate blood.

Whilst, "her indoors" was about to donate her 50th pint, I have not managed to donate more than 15 or so, and had apparently not donated since 2004!

Consequently, I had to have a 1:1 interview with a nurse - which simply meant that she read out all the questions that I had previously answered on the standard questionaire, and I had to repeat the answers out loud that I had previously written.

I'm not sure whether or not this is an attempt to catch fraudulent donors out, but it seemed quite a simple task to complete successfully, for all but the cerebally challenged (Don't they know I have an IQ of 134?)

Just to make the questioning interesting, when asked whether or not I had ever had sex with a man, (or with a woman who had had sex with a man, who had had sex with a man etc) I paused...muttered the name Gavin, paused again, before saying quite hesitantly, "er No..."

However, even this response didn't seem to phase the nurse who proceeded with the questioning.

I had also proudly, ticked the "yes" box against the question, "Have you visited a doctor or dentist in the last 24 hours?", as I had gone to see Dr Khourami, my Polish dentist, earlier that day.

The nurse looked perturbed, even when I said that it had only been for a check up, and that I had only had a "clean & polish".

"...Unfortunately, you can't give blood..." she said, ...because apparently the 'clean and polish, releases a lot of bacteria, which gets into the blood stream... and basically "pollutes" the blood.

If that means that the blood is too "polluted" to give to somebody who would otherwise die without it, I don't feel too crazy about keeping it in my own body, or for having had this allegedly beneficial dentistry treatment.
Next time I shall decline such health treatment...on health grounds!