I am pleased to say that there is, and I have included the questions & answers below, for those of you who are below the age of 70, so that you can test your nearest and deafest (sorry) dearest!
If you are over 70, remember (I realise that this is already a difficult concept to grasp) that exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
OK, relax, breathe deeply, clear your mind and begin.
Q1. What do you put in a toaster?
A1. "Bread."
If they said "toast," tell them to give up now and do something else, but remove any sharp objects from the vicinity so that they don't hurt themselves. If they said, bread, go to Question 2.
Q2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
A2. Cows drink water.
If they said "milk," don't let them attempt the next question. Their brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Let them content themselves with reading more appropriate literature such as a 1963 copy of Readers Digest. However, if they said "water", let them proceed to question 3.
Q3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
A3. Greenhouses are made from glass.
If they said "green bricks," why the hell are you still letting them humiliate themselves??? If they said "glass," go on to Question 4.
Q4. It's twenty years ago, and a jet plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man 's land"?
A4. You don't bury survivors.
If they said ANYTHING else, they're basically a dunce and must stop.
If they said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
Q5. Don't let them use a calculator, and tell them that they are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London 17 people get on the bus;
In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.
In Swindon, two people get off and four get on.
In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on
In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
A5. Oh, for crying out loud! Don't they remember their own name? Tell them "It was YOU!!"
However, don't be too hard on them as 95% of people fail most of the questions
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