50 not out!

I spent part of this evening laid on a bed surrounded by women in uniform fussing over me and ensuring that I didn't faint, whilst I did "...something amazing" and gave a pint of blood.

In a blood "giving" period of nearly 30 years this was only my 18th pint, and whilst in cricketing parlance this is an annual "strike rate" of 60%, it pales into insignificance with MN&D, who, with an annual "strike rate" of 167% gave her 50th pint.

Nor am I able, were I even willing, to catch her up, as I can see that she has a century in her mind. Whilst presents were, quite rightly, heaped upon MN&D (well a nice badge and a very nice, engraved "Cross" pen)

I was treated somewhat dismissively, and with what some might consider to have been somewhat condescendingly.

"You haven't given for quite a while have you?" one nurse asked, quickly followed up with, "...have you been working abroad? That's usually why men don't give for a while!"

Maybe I'm being a bit paranoid but I think there was a definite emphasis on the word "men", plus the fact that because you have to complete a 96 page medical and personal biographical history before they even prick your finger for a blood sample, they know more about me, my whereabouts, my holidays, my sexuality, than even I do.

They know I haven't been working abroad. So I would have rather they had said what they were thinking and had instead come over to me and said: -

"Good evening Sir, I see you haven't given blood for 4 or 5 years, couldn't you be arsed? We note from our records that the lame excuse you've given previously is that we only come to your town on a Friday evening and you like watching Question of Sport on TV, is that right? If so, would you like us to mark your records as "waster" or "shirker"?

Now, whilst I was being treated in this way, MN&D, was (somewhat worryingly) coming up with a new (?) idea to encourage people to come to the blood doning clinics.

She invented - Slow speed dating. She figured that when you give blood, you spend about 10 minutes lying on a bed next to a stranger who you (well obviously not me or her!) could get to know a lot better.

The advantages over normal speed dating is that you know you have a least one thing in common, AND they've had their medical (and sexual) history checked out in the 96 page questionnaire. Now when I say that this notion came to MN&D this evening...I'm not so sure.

Her idea did seem quite well "honed". What has she been getting up to on her many visits? Never mind the score of 50 not out, has anyone been trying to bowl this maiden over?

Beware of the dentist!

This evening I had planned to do "something amazing" with my wife!

That's right...we both set out to donate blood.

Whilst, "her indoors" was about to donate her 50th pint, I have not managed to donate more than 15 or so, and had apparently not donated since 2004!

Consequently, I had to have a 1:1 interview with a nurse - which simply meant that she read out all the questions that I had previously answered on the standard questionaire, and I had to repeat the answers out loud that I had previously written.

I'm not sure whether or not this is an attempt to catch fraudulent donors out, but it seemed quite a simple task to complete successfully, for all but the cerebally challenged (Don't they know I have an IQ of 134?)

Just to make the questioning interesting, when asked whether or not I had ever had sex with a man, (or with a woman who had had sex with a man, who had had sex with a man etc) I paused...muttered the name Gavin, paused again, before saying quite hesitantly, "er No..."

However, even this response didn't seem to phase the nurse who proceeded with the questioning.

I had also proudly, ticked the "yes" box against the question, "Have you visited a doctor or dentist in the last 24 hours?", as I had gone to see Dr Khourami, my Polish dentist, earlier that day.

The nurse looked perturbed, even when I said that it had only been for a check up, and that I had only had a "clean & polish".

"...Unfortunately, you can't give blood..." she said, ...because apparently the 'clean and polish, releases a lot of bacteria, which gets into the blood stream... and basically "pollutes" the blood.

If that means that the blood is too "polluted" to give to somebody who would otherwise die without it, I don't feel too crazy about keeping it in my own body, or for having had this allegedly beneficial dentistry treatment.
Next time I shall decline such health treatment...on health grounds!